Decorating a home from scratch can be daunting. Even redoing just one room can feel overwhelming. There are so many options and choices, and often it can feel like you both can’t find what you’re looking for, and don’t even know WHAT you’re looking for at the same time.
Today we’re talking the dos and don’ts, yeses and noes, of putting together your style game plan. So grab a cup of coffee, tea, or a glass of your favorite wine, and let’s dig in to the oh-so-common decor dilemma of how to start focusing in on your decor style.
When everything seems complicated- simplify.
As a busy homeschooling mom, this mantra was the beginning of my journey. I realized if I didn’t start streamlining my approach to home decor and home improvements, I might never reach a point of truly enjoying my entire home.
Simplifying didn’t mean choosing a decor style with simple, clean lines, like Modern or Scandinavian style. Simplifying meant every level of my home from clutter to the actual decor I was using and purchasing. I’ve gone over addressing design issues with architecture in your home and will soon be addressing my mindset on clutter, so today we will be strictly focusing on elements of the home that are more easily changed. Let’s get into the three most important steps needed to get yourself focusing in on your ultimate goals for your home decor.
Step #1: Create your “No” list, first.
Nothing is more dangerous to your wallet that going into a grocery store without a grocery list. We all have been there- lots of money spent, and no meal plan in sight! Most of us don’t make a habit of that kind of grocery shopping, and not only do we focus in on our list, we have often developed a mental list of “no” purchases. Typically this mental “off limits” list consists of food that someone in the household has an intolerance or allergy to, or items that you determined are unhealthy for your family, maybe just too expensive, or things that people just don’t like and never eat.
This is exactly how we should be approaching the purchases for our own home. And this is also where we need to realize that, just like groceries, decor is not a one size fits all. You need your food to serve your family’s needs. Broccoli is healthy, but maybe your kids hate broccoli and prefer cauliflower. Maybe you are on a specialized diet for a health problem- but when you look at how you approach your dietary restrictions, it looks similar, but a bit different from someone else with the same restrictions. It is through this same lense that our personal decor style and home organization should be observed. And this is exactly how we should approach shopping for and decorating our homes.
First, take a look at what you’ve tried for decor and organization that have not worked, or have stopped working. Are there items that just leave you feeling unsatisfied visually, functionally, or both?Maybe a console table is really lovely, but it has no storage- and storage is a priority in your space. Start listing out these “No” items, whether they are styles or items that don’t work for you or your family. Just as an example, I will share my own list that I made before we moved. This list not only helped me know what to purge, but it set me up for success with what to bring, and what to buy and plan for our new home.
Jill’s Home Decor “No” List
No word art/decor
No overt Farmhouse decor
No Boho decor
No patterned furniture
No patterned curtains
No consoles without storage
No busy bedding
No impulse purchases
As you can see, my ”No” list wasn’t terribly long. Yours may be longer, or may be shorter than mine. My biggest focus was eliminating certain trends I got sucked into that I didn’t love- specifically word art/decor and overtly Farmhouse styled decor(galvanized things, whitewashed finishes, cotton stems, tobacco baskets etc). And once I got these items written down and began looking at my own decor and decor in stores through this lense, I was able to see things as maybe something that I thought was pretty, but recognize that they didn’t have a place in my home.
Putting up parameters is an important step to any decision making. Just like buying groceries, or buying a car, or choosing where to live, we need to not only know what we want- but what limits we have. Having our limits in place first immediately simplifies our decisions. By writing down even just a few things, I have eliminated huge portions of decor from my options. I’ve been able to sift through my home and remove items on the “no” list, and prevent myself from looking at or buying any of those items impulsively, saving both time in my decor search, and money.
Step 2: The “Yes/Do” list
The next step is going to be your “Yes” list- or your “Do” list. These are things you say “Yes“ to or want to “Do” in the home. Some of these items might be things you want to incorporate more of, and even some items that maybe weren’t complete don’ts, but are things you want less of, but still may fit in. For me a big “Do“ item was track arm furniture. I wanted to veer away from the traditional roll arm, but I wasn’t opposed to certain accent pieces still having a traditional look. My Yes/Do was to prioritize a track arm on my main upholstered pieces. These looser “yes” parameters give leeway in your design so you can start bringing out your own personal style from room to room. I enjoy a traditional look, but I wanted those traditional elements to be more accents, and less of the big picture.
Another “Yes“ for me was to have a cohesive color palette. I didn’t want everything completely matchy-matchy, but creating some cohesion from room to room was important to me in order to get an intentional look, and not a choppy home. This, again, wasn’t put on the “no“ list(ie No Varying Color Pallets), because I wanted my kids bedrooms to reflect their own personalities, and I also wanted the freedom to keep each space unique. So the “yes” was to focus on color and tone cohesion through most of the home, or a repeating element(I chose my curtains to be one element linking spaces together)- but not to limit myself completely by making this a hard fenced-in rule.
Notice how while I have honed in on some decor elements(tract arm, cohesive colors), I haven’t yet defined the specific decor style I wanted. By going after the obvious Dos and Don’ts, I continued to work my way from most obvious choices down to more fine tuning my style. If I knew I wanted track arm, I knew I was opening myself up to a Transitional look, where I could incorporate contemporary, rustic, glam, etc. elements. Something that would give me wiggle room to pull either traditional OR contemporary. Track arm sofas allowed me to have a range of motion in my decor choices, while still defining my style as not overtly traditional/farmhouse/shabby chic. Simply making a specific structural style a “Do” refined my parameters that much more. I already made overt Farmhouse style a No, and now I’ve made a transitional arm style a Yes. I could still go modern Farmhouse- but I was walking away from traditional shabby chic Farmhouse. That meant no weathered white furniture, so if I saw a piece that I “loved” in the store- I admired it briefly, and moved on. These “yeses“ and “noes” were my guide; my beacon to stay focused on my end goal. Also, by keeping my sofas, bedding and curtains simple and clean, I opened myself up to statement rugs, lamps, art and decor. These are dos and don’ts you need to consider for yourself. Maybe having a bold accent chair is something you realize you’ve always wanted- if that’s the case, you may be putting parameters up for other areas that now you need to simplify to create cohesion- maybe going with more simple textures for a rug or throw blankets, rather than pattern. Decor is just as much about balance as it is about style. We can have three different styles in one room, but as long as things are balanced well in tone, texture and pattern, it CAN work.
This can be very helpful when making decisions like choosing a tile backsplash, new cabinets or a wall color. If you already said No to say, Tuscan style, then you should not be looking at any tile with a Tuscan influence, or any wall colors with rich, warm tones. If you already said Yes to light and airy, then you have to say no to black or dark stained cabinets. These parameters narrow you down so you can find a color family, texture or shape for these elements, and now just hone in further on style.
#3 When in doubt- Play it Safe
Making those big purchases, like new cabinets, sofas, bedroom furniture, flooring- can be so incredibly overwhelming. And in those situations when you just can’t seem to determine what your distinct look is that you’re going for, but you are in the situation of having to make a decision- Play it safe. Don’t go overly stylized in shape, color or finish. Keeping things simple can ultimately give you a wider parameter of choices, which is not only helpful to implement a myriad of decor choices with accent furniture and smaller decor, but it also gives you a simple canvas to change things up easily over time.
By picking classic transitional lighting, for instance, you could easily incorporate different finishes in other hardware that veers in a more stylized direction at some point. Picking a simple silhouette for your sofa can open up your options for rugs, curtains and art. Investing in safe and simple choices for your big purchases ultimately is easiest on your budget, as classic lines and colors will last longer, and also give you time to work out the other choices.
Ultimately, our taste can change, but it’s much more affordable to buy new lamps, throw pillows and an area rug in a few years than it is to buy new sofas, dining sets or kitchen cabinets. If making decor decisions or committing to a decor style or styles is a struggle for you, playing it safe on the big decisions can be a lifesaver. Seeing highly stylized homes on social media can make you feel like playing it safe is somehow a wrong decor decision. But remember- this is your home for the long haul. You have to pay for it, live with it and exist with it.
We purchased our Ethan Allen sofas during the thick of the furniture shortage. While Ethan Allen is an American made brand, they do rely on components from overseas to make some of their furniture. Our wait time for in-stock fabric was 8-9 weeks vs the 30-40 week wait for most other furniture brands. Ultimately, buying three sofas, two Arcata sofas for the living room, and one track arm Bennet for the upstairs family room, left us realizing that we wanted to “play it safe” with these purchases. That track arm I keep mentioning was one of those safe elements, since I wasn’t sure yet precisely which direction I was going to settle on other than knowing I didn’t want a traditional sofa. But the fabrics we chose were also neutrals that were neither too warm nor too cool. What they were was kid and pet friendly, which was a huge priority.
While we went with a more formal style for the living room, the general style of both the Bennet and Arcatas are safe, albeit elegant, silhouettes. These shapes allowed me to go more traditional/rustic in the formal living room, and contemporary/rustic in the family room. The colors and tones I chose are cohesive enough that it’s not like walking into a completely different house when you look at one room to the other- but I was able to give distinct styles and feel, while maintaining a general “look” with consistent furniture shapes, color tones and design elements(transitional/rustic/glam). By sticking with the basics, you can easily incorporate whichever styles you would like. Just as repeating flooring from room to room, floor to floor, can create cohesiveness, even though this can be seen as “playing it safe”- that simple repetition creates a whole house flow that elevates a home, while keeping things simple in your decisions.
Going back to the grocery analogy, every grocery list starts with the basics. Milk, eggs, bread… Now you decide if that milk is whole, 2%, almond, soy…Or if your eggs are store brand, cage free, free-range…or if your bread is white, whole grain, sprouted or gluten free etc. Regardless of what you want and need in a product, the basics remain that- the basic building blocks for what you are to do next. Don’t feel like you’re copping out by choosing the basics for your home. We don’t all have a style we are passionate about, or the budget to make big changes if and when we change our mind.
The ultimate goal of an intentional home isn’t a home that is immune from change, but a home that serves us, suits us, and can easily be modified as needed.
Because it is okay to decide you like red accents this year, and cognac accents next year. It’s okay to love black hardware now, and decide in 5 years you want satin nickel. Playing it safe on the big stuff is what can help set your home up for success during the inevitable updates that will occur over the years.
So let’s review:
Keeping things simple and setting yourself up for success requires three steps:
#1 Identify your “Noes”
#2 Identify your ”Yeses and Dos”- both primary and occasional
#3 When in doubt, play it safe
Staying true to this mindset will, without a doubt, keep you on track, and away from decor regrets and mistakes, while also helping you to hone in on your wants and needs when it comes to decor style and function. Remember, though, rules are sometimes meant to be broken. Be sure to take a step back from time to time, to reevaluate your absolute “noes” and your “yeses.”
So tell me, what are some of the first Noes and Yeses that come to mind in your own home? Let me know in the comments below, and be sure to sign up to get on the mailing list, and follow me on Instagram @awellintendedhome for more updates, tips and tricks to help you create your intentional home! Happy Decorating :)
~Jill
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Shop My Home:
My Curtains: H Versailtex Linen Look Curtains (Natural in Living Room & Dining Room/Off White in Master Bedroom)
My Curtain Rods: Black Square Design Rods
My Accent Rugs: Damask Shag Rugs
My Blue & Gold Lamps: Ashley Lamps
My Feather Pillow Inserts: Ysther Feather Pillow Inserts
My Blue Pillow Covers: Anickal Blue Grey Pillow Covers 2 pk
My Plaid Pillow Covers: Your Smile Retro Pillow Covers 2pk
My Bedroom Pillow Cover: Silver Leaf Print Pillow Cover
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